Barsanti Counseling and Wellness, LLC

Why Therapy Can Help Men Who Are Used to Handling Things on Their Own

Sat, 07 Nov 2026 14:18:23 -0800

You get through the workday, answer the last email, and walk through the front door. Someone asks how your day was. You say, “Fine.” An hour later, you snap over something small, then spend the rest of the evening wishing you’d handled it differently.

If that sounds familiar, it’s a good place to start a conversation in therapy. You can bring in that one evening and talk it through. What was already on your mind when you got home? What did you need in that moment? What made it hard to ask for it?

When being dependable gets lonely

Why Therapy Can Help Men Who Are Used to Handling Things on Their Own

When being dependable gets lonely

A lot of men grew up hearing some version of “deal with it and keep going.” Being able to do that can serve you well. You may be the person your family counts on in a crisis or the one who stays calm when things go sideways at work. It can also mean that the people closest to you have very little idea when you’re having a hard time.

In my work with men, we often start with something concrete. Maybe you’ve been short with your kids, avoiding calls from friends, or pouring a second drink most nights because it’s the first time all day you feel yourself relax. We can talk about what that habit does for you, what it costs you, and what you’d like to do differently.

“The healthy person finds happiness in helping others.”
“The Only Person You Are Destined To Become Is The Person You Decide To Be.”
“Don't Let the Past Steal Your Present.”
“The goal isn’t to be sober. The goal is to love yourself so much that you don’t need to drink.”
“There is no shame in beginning again, for you get a chance to build bigger and better than before.”
“Experience is Not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.”
“Though No one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” Carl Bard.
“My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last.”
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world…as in being able to remake ourselves.” Mahatma Gandhi
“The best way out is always through” Robert Frost
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but human connection” Johann Hari
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates
“Feel the feeling, but do not become the emotion. Witness it....Read More

Ten Ways to Avoid Relapse

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 11:46:23 -0800

Know Your Triggers…Look for clues that things could be happening inside you. Feelings you might have. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired? You may not know yourself as much as you think you do. It might be odd to think about but, we lie to ourselves and our motivations are complex. In fact, knowing thyself is a lifelong mystery. All that to say- it takes some work to really know what’s inside our heads and hearts.
Go to Meetings or Groups…Maybe, you need to increase attendance or start again. Groups have synergy and they exist to help people. Even a flawed meeting had a good point somewhere. A golden nugget of truth buried in the brains of strange people. They can also help you know yourself better by hearing what other people are dealing with. Maybe you didn’t communicate as clearly as you thought and communicating in group can help get things out.
Call Someone…Even when you don’t “need’ to. Reach out to people regularly as a way to stay healthy and mentally sharp. This takes effort. It is sometimes awkward. Fight through that resistance because it’s worth it.
Have Fun…Focus on having fun and make it a priority. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” It should be scheduled and it can be done by yourself or with others. If you have hard times with this one- try to remember your childhood. What was fun for you when you were 15? 12? 8? Maybe you need to go...Read More

Sponsors and Mentors

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 09:15:53 -0800

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Asking for Help

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 10:26:44 -0700

One of the greatest secrets of recovery is to ask for help. Bring an example of how you could or have asked for help in the past. What did you say, or what could you have said differently? Asking for help could save your life and prevent a tregedy that has a solution.

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Honesty

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 10:24:02 -0700

The foundation for all honesty is being true to yourself. Honesty with others first requires honest with your self, "owning" your own needs, recognizing your feeelings.
Where are you with honesty as it relates to your self?
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Why Group Therapy.

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 15:12:10 -0800

"Groups can act as a support network and a sounding board. Other members of the group often help you come up with specific ideas for improving a difficult situation or life challenge, and hold you accountable along the way." Commonality and collaboration are benefits of group therapy.

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Addiction and Recovery in the News

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 15:10:41 -0800

No one is immune to the struggle of addiction and the process of Recovery

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Holidays

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 15:07:35 -0800

The Holidays can be a challenging time for those walking the path of recovery from addiction but there are resources out there.

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